Episode 1 Part 2: The Death of the Main Character

Episode 1: Part 1: The Legind Re-Begins Once Again!

Episode 2 Part 1: The Self-Fulfilling Prophesized Hero

Episode 2 Part 2: The Perks of a Hero

Episode 3 Part 1: The Triple Three Trials of Trinity

Episode 3 Part 2: Friendship the Rocket-Launcher

Episode 4 Part 1: Flamboyant Villain's Debut

Episode 4 Part 2: Friendship vs Love

Episode 5 Part 1: The Village of Doomed

Episode 5 Part 2: My First Village

Episode 6 Part 1: Protecting My Destiny

Episode 6 Part 2: A Maiden's Heart

Episode 7 Part 1: Seizing the Spotlight

Episode 7 Part 3: Broken Prophecy

Episode 7 Part 4: Quest Complete!

That title is really making me uneasy. It looks like the letters are outlined with blood. If that wasn’t bad enough, it’s in Chiller font style. Some bad shit is going to happen, I just know it.
The ominous clouds outside became even darker and more foreboding.
“Main, don’t worry. I’ll protect you, Nyo,” says Stalker, snuggling up to my arm. 
“It is my duty to protect him, not yours,” says Best Friend, tearing her off me.
“Why didn’t you act sooner?” I ask him with a look of concern.
“I was examining her intentions. She seems harmless enough.” He turns to the girl. “If you try to take advantage of him or kidnap him, you’ll lose a finger. I’ll let you pick which one.”
She giggles and slugs him playfully. “I’ll be a good girl.”
Oh, I should check the status of our newest review.
I reach behind Boobs and pull out my tablet. It was a gift from Best Friend on my second birthday. I freaked out when he gave it to me because there was someone’s severed hand clenching it. Thankfully, after we broke the grip with some pliers and cleaned the screen, there weren’t any fingerprint stains on it.
I open up our new video to see a big red flag. 
“Did we stir the pot too much?” asks Best Friend with a curious look.
Sure Seven-Hundred Deadly Plot Devices is treasured by newbie weeaboos, but that usually just nets us a couple thousand dislikes. I praised the fun characters and backstory but Best Friend nitpicked it to hell and brought our rating down to an ‘only watch once’. Why was our video review taken down? I know we said Lizabeth is not consent, but the anti-SJWs shouldn’t have the authority to remove our hard work.
I go to our archive. 
Flagged, they’re all flagged. It’s over. 
“Is everything alright, darling?” asks Stalker, patting my head with a crazed grin.
Article 13…did it pass? Is the world of free streaming over? This can’t be real.
“It passed on the 26th. It’s been less than a week.”
“Tell me this is an April Fools’ joke.”
“Regrettably it’s as real as the Devil’s Will Cry 5 Blood Palace DLC update. I look to forward to conquering that challenge when we return home.”
“I don’t want to back.” I turn to Best Friend. “You know, double suicide doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.”
Yeah! That’s it! I have a knife; he has a knife. We both try to plunge it in, but I love him too much. Then I confess my love to him as I blank out. Then the two of us meet up in heaven and lose our virginity in an X-rated OVA! It’s not ideal, but it’s our only option.
“I know what will cheer you up. We can watch Brigadoom together!” exclaims Stalker with a girly twirl.
“No! What’s the point of watching things I love if I can’t trash them in low budget video reviews? What’s the point of love without hate?” I ask, clenching my sides in tears.
The title was right. This really is the death of the Main Character. My ViralTube channel persona is dead. I’ve been living as him so long…I don’t know how to be anyone else! Is this what Rorshank felt when his world crumbled?
The bell rang and the lights went out.
“Everyone remain calm,” says Glasses Kid before screaming out in agony.
The lights came back up and a hooded figure was holding Glasses Kid’s head.
It was so surreal. Like an overly gruesome chapter of Battle Royalty. His vacant eyes still looked smug to me.
I’m dreaming right? Wouldn’t be the first time I dozed off in class. Of course! It’s April Fools’, that trickster teacher must be going all out this time!
The figure turns its attention to me. Under the hood was a collection of stars.
This thing was unearthly. 
Okay, there are two options! One: he’s going to select me to be in the next Queens’ Blade. But considering the newest reboot and the fact that I have a penis, that seems unlikely. Option two: he’s going to kill me!
A dagger shoots out from its long white sleeves. Best Friend jumps in front of me and grabs the knife.
“I won’t let you destroy my life,” he says softly as he drags the knife across his chest.
“Do you trust me, sensei?” asks Stalker, looking directly into my eyes.
What the hell is going on? What do I say? Should I trust her? I hardly even know her!
&nbsp;Am I going to die here? Well at least I’ll make the headlines. Wait, Glasses Kid was already killed. What if his death is the highlight of the news report? Shit, he’s a kid! Those always get the spotlight in these kinda scenarios, hence the Lost Child arc. I can’t worry about that. Right now, I need to make sure no one else dies. I can’t allow them to steal my flair.
“Hey Red Man, stay away from my little chick!” Best Friend tosses the knife right back at the creature. It absorbs the knife in its cloak. It then put out its sleeves. Knives shoot out faster than my fear could seize me. I watch in futility as my fellow classmates are slaughtered. I still can’t make out their eyes, but their blood is as clear as crystal.
This isn’t a joke. This is real. They’re dead. No. They can’t all be dead.
I turn to see that a few of them are bleeding but still alive.
What is this horrible feeling? Is this what people call a conscience? Damn it, seeing little kids suffering makes me think of Uchio! She was too young to die! My eyes are watering up. I can’t see shit!
I wipe the tears from my eyes.
I wanted to be a hero, right? Well now’s my chance. These kids need me.
I toss two tiny desks at the assailant. “You want the Azure, right! Well it’s right here!” I pound my fist against my chest. 
“You’re incredible,” says Stalker with love-struck eyes.
“I’ll distract him. You save the kids, alright?” I ask, deflecting an incoming tentacle blade with a chair.
“I won’t abandon you,” she says, reaching for my hand. “Will you accept my help?”
For some reason I feel like I’m about to make a contract with a cute but deadly otherworldly entity.
“Watch out!” yells Best Friend.
Oh shit! Four blades are coming straight for me.
Best Friend leapt in front of me. His body was suspended in the air. serving as my shield. The blades had pierced him, but it wasn’t fatal.
Stalker was still staring at me, waiting for my response. I turn to her, mustering up all my bravery.
“If I die now, I’ll just be another statistic. If you can save my life, I will entrust it to you,” I say with incredible firmness.
Am I going to end up becoming a magical girl because of this? Whatever, I’ll gladly wear a frilly skirt it if it can save my best friend!
Stalker smiles and then takes out a Taser. The bitch fries me while still giving me a warm smile. 
I try to get up, but it’s no use. 
She walks straight up to the cloaked figure. “Dad, he’s the one you want. No one else here matters,” she says, pointing right at me.
That thing is her father. W.T.F. seriously! This has got to be one f’ed up dream I’m having. Please Lord Madarara, let this just be a Sharingun hallucination.
Best Friend slices the tendrils that pierced him and rolls out of the way of the next attack. “So, you finally reveal your true feelings. I had a feeling you would strike today. I already warned you, Stalker.”
Why does everyone know what’s going on but me?
“Let’s do it, Cerberus!” Best Friend pulls out dual handguns, one red and black and the other black and white. “I said that if you tried to kill Main, I’d murder you like I did my parents.” He shoots her right in the chest.
This all feels so wrong. I know he was defending me…but, she’s just a kid. Ugh, why am I getting flashes of Riika’s tattered corpse.
“Big brother is mine! Once he’s dead, we’ll be together forever!” she exclaims, crawling up to me and leaving behind a smear of pink blood.
“Best Friend, what the hell is she?” I ask him in horror.
“She’s your enemy and I am your ally,” he says, tossing a gun to me. Best Friend shoots a tendril, ducks under a second one and then throws a knife right at Stalker’s head.
Just before the dagger could make contact with her skull, the girl was sliced in half by the cloaked man. Her two severed halves reached out to me before collapsing into a puddle of blood.
“What do you want with me? You just killed your daughter, you sick bastard!” I point the gun right at him. “Leave now and I’ll let you live.”
My hands are trembling. Why can’t I pull the trigger? Heroes are supposed to be fearless, goddamn it! Goku, please lend me your energy or give me a goddamn sensu bean!
“With your death…salvation!” exclaims the attacker, raising his sleeves.
Tentacles shoot out and pull in the bodies of my fellow classmates.
Damn it. These tentacles are being wasted here. There’s an all-girls high-school just up the road. Okay seriously, I’m really freaking out here. Why are the faces of my classmates materializing now that they’re twisted with fear and pain? I have to do something. I have to at least try to save them!
I fire the entire clip into the tentacles, saving a handful of kids instead of ending the life of the enemy.
My mind flashes to a moment when Best Friend and I were sparring shirtless. 
“Remember, Main. A true hero should try to save the most lives, not everyone. Following Shirow Emiya’s footsteps will only lead you to ruin.”
He looks so radiant, like a Hamom master. How could he be dying?
Metallic wings sprout from my assailant’s arms before they shoot out toward me.
The impact shakes me back to my senses.
“Main, live on.” Best Friend smiles lovingly as he pulls off his shirt. He was strapped from head to toe with grenades. “I’ve always been ready to die for you. It was living for you that was truly painful. As long as you’re safe, my life has purpose. I’m sorry, you’ll have to graduate without me.”
What is he doing? 
Best Friend rushes toward the assailant, beads of sweat making his chest sparkle.
“You cannot die! You are the source of his power!” exclaims the assassin.
His tentacles sharpen as his bladed fingers grab onto Best Friend’s neck. Another bladed tentacle slices the grenade vest off.
No! No. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
I pull the trigger but there aren’t any bullets left. I spent them saving a few kids and for what? This monster is going to kill them all anyways. I tried to be a hero and now I’m going to lose him.
In the end I’m just a dumb kid playing dress up.
Best Friend fires a final bullet into the assailant’s cloak. 
Purple blood sprays out from the wound, melting the ground as it touches it. 
“Run.” My best friend is cut to ribbons before my eyes. Even in death he has such divine elegance. Each shred of him glistens in the sunlight and waves in the wind like a beautiful red snowflake.
Killing off characters in the first episode is just a cheap edge-lord technique. There wasn’t time for the viewers to get attached. He deserved a better death, like Itachii, instead he died like human fodder from Goblin Scalper. Oh god. He’s really gone.
I felt my face. It was drenched in tears.
My best friend is dead and I’m still making anime references. It’s the only way my mind knows how to process all this crazy shit. But it’s not enough. Shit I can’t see anything with all these tears.
It’s just me and the murderer now. I’m not going to just stand still and die. I have to use the legendary Joseph Jostar’s secret technique!
My legs move me away from my enemy at incredible speed.
If I can get him away from the school then I can save some of those kids. Best Friend won’t have died in vain. Yeah, I’ll give his death purpose and I’ll kill the one who did it!
I toss my ridiculously heavy textbook at the window, smashing it to pieces. I then crash right through it, just barely dodging an incoming blade.
Where do I run? Come on what would Joseph do? There aren’t any volcanoes nearby. How do I beat this guy? Of course, a gas station! There’s one just down the road! 
As thousands of thoughts bounced through my head a car was thrown right in front of me. I run on top of it and jump off.
That’s it, ride the adrenaline! 
I make it to the gas station with the assailant hot on my trail. I reach into my backpack and pull out the pistol behind boobs.
If only I had remembered sooner. My mind was in a blur. No. I can’t dwell on that. Every second counts.
I pull out my heft AGL Arms .45 Long Cult. “Everyone, get out of here!” I yell, raising my custom replica and firing a shot.
These goddamn morons are crouching down, not running. Do they want me to blow them up? 
It’s too late. The assailant arrives and still only a few people actually flee. The rest are frozen in terror.
I can do this. Forget about these people. They’re just side-characters, strangers. That thing killed my best friend and it will die!
I aim the revolver at the gas tank, but notice a baby in the car.
Sorry, Best Friend. I’m doing this my way. 
I fire a round into the assailant’s lower cloak.
The creature’s purple blood sprays on the car, but stops before it can melt all the way through.
Metal spider-like appendages come out from the creature and it races toward me.
Sorry Best Friend, I can’t stop the monster who killed you. I’m a damn failure.
I run as fast as my legs will carry me.
I need to go home. If I make it to the orphanage, then I just know I’ll be safe. Best Friend wants me to live. I won’t betray his last request.
I jump onto a car and feel it flip beneath my feet. I kick off, seeing bladed tendrils zoom by me. As I soar through the air, I feel a strange sensation. Blood is now gushing out of my arm. No…there is no arm, just blood.
I’m going to die. The title was absolutely right.
I look as far as I can, seeing my orphanage in the distance. It radiates with a beautiful light, beckoning me.
“You son of a bitch! I’m going to make it! I’m going to live!” I yell as I fire blindly behind me.
I keep running but then suddenly trip and fall.
What the hell!? Glasses kid is the klutz, not me!
My leg is gone and blood is gushing out from the wound. The assailant approaches me as I try to crawl away from him. 
This is where a deus-ex machina is supposed to show up, right? Preferably a cute girl from another world in tight clothes.
A girl in a futuristic outfit then appears in front of me.
Sooo predictable! The tropes I’ve hazed are now saving my life. This irony is thicker than Handzo’s futomaki rolls. It’s over. I’m finally safe.
“If you come with me, I promise you’ll live,” she says, creating a portal out of thin air. 
Wait, where have I heard that before.
(Note: Insert Flashback of Stalker Girl here. Side Note: have an extra unrelated minute of runtime in order to save on the episode’s budget.)
Should I trust her. It turned out badly last time. Oh shit, that thing is moving toward her. I have to do something.
“I’m not going to be some pawn for your revolution! Solve your own problems, beyotch!” I yell, shooting at her feet with my pistol.
She pulls the gun out from my hand with her telepathic powers. She digs her heel into my nuts and then leaves into a portal.
In hindsight, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. What if she could have fought that thing? This is no anime. Being a hero is going to get me killed.
The hooded figure looms closer and closer, building up unnecessary suspense. 
I aim my gun at him, ready to fire.
One final bullet. A single headshot should end this.
A girl with black hair riding a bicycle comes from out over the bend and runs right over my neck.
“What a shitty death,” I say before everything goes dark.
Yeah that’s it, I died from a Kagomi wannabe. Turns out I’m not an Aijin after all. Shit! Oh well, at least I’ll share the top spot with Yoshigake Killa for the most pathetic death.
Here comes the ending song. I suppose it’s the ending in multiple ways.
A cheap panoramic image of me descending into darkness is shown. Sad piano music plays. 
Awesome dreams. Greater failures. Lesser beings killing greaters. What the hell just happened to me? Who the hell ruined my script? There was no explosion. I just died. Damn that sucked. The hero’s journey came to an end. With everything loss and nothing to defend. The hero died. I only wish it was a lie! 
Now for the prequel to the next episode.
What the hell, it’s just dark black fog. Is this really it? Shit, could I really have died for good? Tune in next week for the start of a new adventure of The Main Character!?

&lt;p&gt;A subversive PUNCH to the face!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Join Main Character and Best Friend, two proud American otakus and ViralTube legends, who are pulled into another world and bribed into joining a growing conflict between victimized villages and deranged dictators. Anime tropes only lead to shattered expectations for our ego-driven hero! He is accompanied by awesome allies, protected by canonical plot armor, and armed with the power of Friendship (a vulgar rocket launcher who uses emotions as ammo). But  will these and his encyclopedic knowledge of anime be enough to overcome the threats of a dimension hopping assassin, a guardian angel's sexual advances, a musclebound amazonian, memory erasing mushrooms, a Fearsome Dragon, a charismatic king with a psychotic obsession for our hero and his army of cut throat cat boys?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Main Character is a 4th wall breaking parody packed with anime references, subversive characters and intense battles!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Print versions of this book and other novels/manga can be obtained at SphereofCompassion.com&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

The Main Character! The Hero's Epic Journey Begins!